Saturday, September 18, 2010

Congratulations Adorable Birds!

Today you, indeed all adorable birds, will take wing and watch as the deformed members of The Great Society Which Hurls Grains At Our Feet rebels against The Society Of Those Who Force Us From One Section of Concrete to Another. The deformed members of The Great Society Which Hurls Grains At Our Feet will strike swiftly, while Those Who Force Us From One Section of Concrete to Another will be entirely unprepared. It will be a bloodbath, body parts strewn everywhere.

When the dust settles, after a day of harsh fighting, the Great Stone City will be littered with delicious corpses for you and your friends to eat, and there will be no more Society of Those Who Force Us From One Section of Concrete to another to boss you around and tell you what to. Your first act will be freeing all the imprisoned adorable birds, as well as many of the less adorable birds. Then you’ll just hang out with the crows and eat some dead bodies, enjoying the feeling of being in charge for the first time since the beginning of the Holocene era.

You’ll treat each day of freedom as a gift, letting your songs echo through empty streets, wheeling as high as you can in the sun and then resting on rooftops, occasionally watching as the Societies still battle on your streets, grinning madly as you wait to see if the one who lives will be One Who is Tasty or One Who is Foul. You will cock your heads in the sun and watch them fret below you with no idea of how wonderful it is to fly freely, to catch insects in their beaks and gobble them still living and writhin, and to poop while moving at incredible speeds.

You will carry us into a new golden age.

Congratulations Adorable Birds!

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