Congratulations on the Success of Your Niche Porn Site!

You’ve been incredibly unsatisfied with the state of internet erotica over the last few years. Its all gangbangs and choking and face-fucking; sexual brutality at its worst. There’s no heart to it, no subtly or synapse.

Which is why you’ve decided to toss your hat into the ring. Over the last few months you’ve been laying the groundwork for a hot new site. It’s called Jizz in My Jeans (JIMJ for short) and you think it captures all that contemporary porn lacks.

It consists exclusively of men and women, still fully or partially clothed, engaging in foreplay. The theme, as the site’s name implies, is that the man comes before any explicit sex act is performed.

You’ve been recruiting talent, filming videos and writing ad copy and, come Thursday of this week, the site is going to go live. The first week will be, as you expected, slow. People will still be watching Interracial BBW Gangbangs™ instead of your cerebral, startlingly well shot porn.

But your marketing director will come up with a great tagline, “Want to Jizz in Your Jeans?” It’ll be plastered on banners all over the internet, and you’ll almost immediately see an upturn in traffic. It’ll be like the Penny-Arcade effect, except it won’t go through the slowdown cycle.

Traffic will just increase and increase. As you acquire more subscribers you’ll find yourselves forced to upgrade your servers to meet demand within a month. In two months you’ll be able to retire on the money you’ve made, but you’ll be so enthralled by your success that you won’t want to.

You’ll be high on the act of creation, and you’ll make groundbreaking film after groundbreaking film, and you won’t ever want to stop. This year you’ll sweep the AVNs, much to the chagrin of actor-producers like Brandon Irons and Ron Jeremy.

You’ll show up on stage in a t-shirt tux with beautiful women dressed in casual clothes on each arm. The first thing you’ll say into the microphone?

“I just jizzed in my jeans.”

You are a class act, my friend. Keep up the good work and congratulations on the success of your niche porn site.