Congratulations Debate Team Member!

Today you and several other members of your high school debate team will find yourselves standing in the Hall of Mirrors in the house of The Lady of Blades, the City at the Center of the Universe, Sigil. You’ll be debating with a group of impish creatures and one larger creature composed entirely of antimatter about the nature of existence.

The tale of how you arrived here is long and horrible. It involves a time warp “catching” your bus, a lengthy journey across the Gray Plains, where nearly half of your team was murdered, and a brief and perilous chase through the Wards of Sigil as your strong views and inability to process anyone else’s opinions managed to place you at odds with the vast majority of the factions in this strange city.

But now it’s all come to a head. You’ll be making points by quoting various philosophers, hoping to impress the unseen judge you expect is scoring you even as you speak. The fiends and the black guy will take a different approach, walking you step by step through the various tenants that you believe in and proving them moot through independent thought and freedom from preconceptions.

After a while their arguments will start to make sense. Your compatriots will be exhausted, and two of them will be on the verge of tears when their repeated rhetoric remains unmet by any sort of judge. But you’ll have caught on. You’ll gather up your strength and debate your little heart out.

You’ll abandon everything you’ve ever learned about debating (since you’re part of a debate team this is an excellent idea; this means you will be able to make cogent points and consider an argument intelligently) and you’ll lay it down for those fiendish creatures how you must, by a certain line of logic, be the most powerful creature in the universe. In addition, you’ll inform them that the giant black creature made of antimatter cannot, in fact, exist.

When you finish your argument the creature will sit there pensive for a moment before his eyes go wide and he’ll flare out of existence. Several of your teammates will do the same, since they’re not very smart and thought that following his example would make them seem a little cooler. Luckily a few will still be alive, including Kelly, the hot one who you’ve been trying to get into the pants of for the last few weeks.

This means you’ll still have some people you can trust around when the imps surround you and start bowing and scraping, calling you their new master. This is the first step on the road to you becoming an inter-dimensional pirate.

Enjoy the ride, and congratulations debate team member.

Oh, and just FYI? Turns out Kelly is not in to you. Sleep with the lady imp instead, she’s a freak in the sack. Meee-ow.