Friday, February 21, 2014

Congratulations Willoughby Slasher!



When the cops find the third victim, the supervising detective will have an "ah ha!" moment.

"There's an address carved into this body.  1128 Willoughby Avenue, Apartment 6R!"

He'll dispatch a car to the address, where they'll promptly knock on your door and you, being the polite slasher that you are, will surrender yourself to their custody without incident.

Later, during your trial, you'll outline how your carefully crafted serial killings were actually an elaborate attempt to reveal flagrant incompetence on the part of the police, since they inquested three bodies, and only discovered your home address carved into one of them.

"This city deserves more from its Police," you'll tell the judge, tears welling in your eyes.

You'll enter a plea of no contest, and the judge will sentence you to life imprisonment with no chance for parole.  The detective who found your address, the same detective who missed in on the previous three bodies, will be promoted.  Nothing about the infrastructure of the police force, or their uniform incompetence will change.  Have fun spending the next decade of your life thinking about your special edition Seven DVD gathering dust!

Congratulations Willoughby Slasher!

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