Congratulations on Convincing Her You're Not Cheap!

When you tell her you're taking her to McDonalds, she'll roll her eyes.

"Classy," she'll drawl.

Your mind will spin as you to try to come up with something, anything, to turn the tide without backing away from your decision and looking weak.  Chicks hate indecision almost as much as they love shitty fashion television shows, and if you wanna bonk hoohas with this one, you'll have to find a way to make her believe that your decision to take her to lunch at McDonalds and order off the dollar menu wasn't just an attempt to be frugal which, just to be clear, it actually was.

"Just hear me out," you'll tell her, trying to buy time.

"Well?" she'll ask.

You won't have anything, so you'll just say, "I was speaking metaphorically.  I'll show you when we get there," and keep leading one pissed off Bennington student down Main Street until you get to your destination: your local McDonalds Hamburgertown Restaurant.  You'll walk in the door in the midst of a doldrummy afternoon and proceed to order off the dollar menu.  Your date will wave her hands in a negative gesture when you ask her what she'd like.

"I refuse to feast on the misery of American wage slaves," she'll loudly declare, soliciting a series of harumphs of agreement from behind the counter.

"Well," you'll stammer as you eye your food being prepared behind the counter.  "I can see where you're coming from.  Tell me more."

She'll launch into a tirade about how corporate America is suffocating the lower classes and how you, as a man with money to shop at McDonalds, need to take action by refusing to do so and instead supporting businesses that employ people with a similar skillset in a way that doesn't fundamentally undervalue them as people.  She'll call on the workers of McDonalds to stand up and strike, eliciting a slow clap from the entire staff, except for the young man making your food who will, by all external markers, simply not speak English.

When your food finally arrives on the table you'll exclaim: "I AGREE!  LET'S TEAR THIS FUCKING PLACE DOWN!"  This will prompt a roar of approval from the McDonalds staff in support of your call to arms and a clatter of fast-fooding tools as they tumble to the ground.  The staff will rush out the front of the store, carrying you, your date, and your food (held by a bag clutched in your hand) right out the front door in one of the most powerful spontaneous protests of the recent fast-food strike movement.  In the rush to start to strike, the McDonalds staff will forget to charge you for your food.

As you stand there on the curb, cooling dollar hamburger now transferred to your pocket, screaming slogans that didn't exist a few seconds earlier with a woman you met on OkayCupid, your only thought will be I hope this works out, hippy girls are supposed to be freaks in the sack.

It will not work out in your favor, but enjoy your cold beef-like product later tonight while you watch Leno! 

Congratulations on Convincing Her You're Not Cheap!