Monday, February 10, 2014

Congratulations Socialist Mouthpiece!



"THE PROLETERIAT WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES OF THE MONSTROUS CAPITALIST STATE!" you'll shout into the face of your last friend as he starts crossing the street a few seconds before you.

"What?" he'll respond, nonplussed.  He'll be well conditioned to deal with your inane bullshit at this point, and his genuine concern for your well being will drive him to pause, turn, and face you with about a third of his body still in the street.

"THE NATURE OF REALITY IS SUCH THAT-"

Halfway through your diatribe about commodity valuations and their perpetual fluctuation, a car will race past your face and into the space where part of your friend is standing, sending him tumbling into the air.  You'll be so shocked by the event that you will, for a handful of moments, simply stand there, watching your friend's twitching form, watching the car drive away, watching bystanders rush to your friend's side.  It'll take you until the EMS people arrive for you to start spouting your insane bullshit about a philosophical perspective you, at best, just barely comprehend.  As they examine your friend, as they load him into the back of an ambulance, as they drive away, you'll shout at them: hollow phrases, oft repeated, rarely heard, intended to provoke in them not an evincing moment of understanding and revelation, but a sudden burst of violence directed at you, as if you spoke not to prove yourself right, but to prove the wrongness of all other parties.

Your friend will remain unresponsive throughout the ordeal.

Congratulations Socialist Mouthpiece!

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