Congratulations on Learning the Rules of Baccarat!

As the dealer takes the last stack of chips from you, your eyes will light up.

"Oh!"

The dealer will make a quick hand gesture at the bouncers, who will have been watching your table intently for the last forty five minutes.  You'll have been steadily winnowing away your savings during that time period, with a dedication and singular purpose that few can muster, and they'll have been eagerly awaiting the chance to remove you from the casino, so that you can invoke the obscure, but widely enforced "secret takeback" rule that most casinos permit their patrons to bring up.

"I think I get it!" you'll shout at the other players as the bouncers grab you by the shoulders and haul you out of your seat.  The other players will actively avoid eye contact with you.  The bouncers will pretend they don't hear you as they carry you out.

"It's like a crazier version of blackjack, right?" you'll ask, but the bouncers will just shake their heads.

"Not quite," one of them will tell you as he opens the door to throw you out, "but you're sort of getting it."

As you tumble out through the door, each hand will flash back through your head.  You will, in a sudden rush of insight, understand just why you lost so frequently and so severely.  As you hit the ground, your brain will flame with the potential to play baccarat correctly.  But at this point, it will be too late: the house will have your money, and casinos, as you know, aren't for poor people, just stupid people with lots of money.

Congratulations on Learning the Rules of Baccarat!