Staring at the summer lineup, you'll feel like something is
missing.
"Can people still watch animals have sex on any of our
shows?"
Your co-producer will shrug, which will prompt you to order
your intern to watch the entire spring schedule of programming to find out, for
sure, if hot animal-on-animal action has made it anywhere into the fall
line-up. Your intern will come back with
the horrifying news that there are, in fact, zero total animals having sex.
You'll set about correcting this oversight immediately.
You'll start by greenlighting a project called
"Kalahari Nights," where a camera crew covertly films giraffes
fucking all over southern Africa. Once
that's done, you'll greenlight "Steamy Tundra," a show where the
animals of Northern Canada have sex with one another for the amusement and
edification of international audiences.
Finally, you'll put "Meerkat Fuck Party" into
development. That project will be pretty
self-explanatory.
In about eight months, all of those projects, except for
Meerkat Fuck Party, will be dead in the water, and you'll be fired. But until then, you're going to have a lot of
fun sitting at home alone, watching the shows you've developed while screaming
at customer service agents who refuse to recognize how important your disputed
credit card charges are.
Congratulations Animal Planet Producer!
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