Thursday, April 18, 2013

Congratulations Sears Sales Representative!



Working at Sears and trying to break into managing bands isn’t easy, regardless of what your mom and that fuckhead she married Steve might think.  But it has its perks.

For example, today, while reviewing a display of clearance priced air-conditioning units, you’re going to into Shelly.  Shelly, in addition to being the leading salesperson at J.C. Penny, is a tremendous slut.  And when she comes a knocking, you know that you’re about to get your cock sucked.

“Hey,” she’ll murmur to you as you come up, pressing her body against yours so that you can feel her curves underneath that tweed pantsuit.  “I need an air conditioner.”

You’ll pull her head back by her hair and whisper into her ear.

“I think we can work something out.”

The two of you will then have sex in the employee bathroom of Annie’s Pretzels, the only place the entire mall that isn’t wired for video.  When you’re done you’ll both be covered in sweat, reeking of pretzels, salt and cinnamon-sugar-spread, but satisfied.

“Way to make that sale, Tiger,” she’ll mumble in your ear.

“I don’t have any witty comebacks,” you’ll croak in response. “I work as a sales representative at Sears.”

Congratulations  Sears Sales Representative!

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