Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Congratulations Finfucker!



Dolphins.  They’re beautiful, subtle creatures of ethereal spirit and glory, and they own your motherfucking brain.  But the romance you feel for them can never be realized.  Right?

Wrong!

Today you’re going to creep into a tank in Sea World and position yourself, ass in the air, near a male dolphin.  He’s going to poke you a few times to make sure you’re not a seal or a shark.  Then he’s going to try and move you around to see if you’re a fun toy.  Once he knows you’re not any one of those three things, he’s going to pull down your pants with his surprisingly dexterous nose and then rub his erect dolphin dick all over your ass.

He’ll slide into you easily and soundlessly before he begins making love to you slowly, steadily, eagerly.  When he comes inside you the force will rock your colon, slap your prostate and trigger an explosive orgasm for you as well.  Then the dolphin will swim away as your blood, his semen and yours all mingle in the dolphin tank.

Security will find you an hour from then, stretched out on the concrete, unable to walk or sit comfortably.  But your heart will be full for you, side, completed one of your life goals, and that can be the greatest feeling of all.

Congratulations Finfucker!

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