Congratulations to The Other Sock!

Today you’re going to be a sock who witnesses a murder.

Your owner will be putting you and your brother on foot by foot when a man with a pistol walks in and starts talking to him in an incomprehensible gibberish (he’ll be speaking American standard English, you only know sock). Then he’ll shoot your owner in the head twice while you’re only half on his foot, causing your owner to sprawl to the ground and you to fall loose from his foot. Your brother will remain securely fashioned.

You’ll both be paralyzed with fear, feeling your fibers tingle as you watch the assassin go about his grisly work. He’ll roll up your brother and your owner in a carpet and sling it over his shoulder with a tired, practiced ease. Then he’ll trudge out the door with the carpet over his shoulder, sure in his purpose: to hurl them into a nearby dumpster and light it on fire.

“Noooo!” you’ll scream after him as he takes your brother away. Then you’ll roll yourself into a sock ball and force yourself to the sock communication webway beneath the dresser, where you’ll let loose a psychic scream to all other sock-kind letting them know just what’s going on. Since you’re all socks you’ll be powerless to stop them then. But a few weeks later you and your stock brothers will roll yourself up, loop yourselves around the wrists of the assassin and suffocate him with your wooly strength while he lays in bed alone. He will die horrified, unsure of just how socks have managed to scale his body and kill him.

Congratulations to The Other Sock!