The movies are flooded with shit about dancing, hard luck stories about kids from the streets coming up through the power of their dance and making sweet, sweet paper through their awesome looking, expressive sweat. It’s time to get yours, son.
And producers know it. That’s why today they’re going to greenlight The Cucaracha Kid, the writer/director/actor piece you wrote yourself into years ago that you’ve been struggling to find funding for. You’ll have that funding, and more. You’ll have distribution, creative control and access to a variety of clothes that only a complete asshole would wear.
The movie will go into production in a few months. Then it’ll release an unprecedented four months later. It’ll have a limited run in theaters for a little less than a month, then it’ll move to DVD in two more months, where it’ll fare poorly. Eventually it will receive the same sort of cult status as, say, The Room or Thankskilling. But neither of those movies were produced by Universal, so you won’t really have an excuse.
Your career will be ruined, though, so that’s good for all the rest of us because now we won’t have to watch your movie about what would’ve happened if the dinosaurs had won World War II.
Congratulations Cucaracha Kid!
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