Most people would say “I’m more than just a fantastic rack,” but not you. You know why? Because you’re a pair of sentient breasts inhabiting the body of a very stupid, very easily manipulated woman. That’s how you get your way all the time, instead of just most of the time, and it’s how you’re going to end up as secretary general of the UN in no time at all.
The first step towards election will be your nomination, easily secured because you’re attached to a super hot foreign lady who is perceived as being easily manipulated.
“Criselda Monteloca of Spain?” the Chinese ambassador will say, rubbing his hands together with glee as he thinks about the treaties he could get passed through under your host’s dull, thoughtless gaze. “She would be acceptable.”
Then it’ll be put to a vote. Whatever CSPAN has shown you about the Senate in America, forget it. In the UN, shit’s like the Galactic Senate. So voting will be conducted from a series of floating platforms while various weird looking aliens and foreigners shout at one another through translators until one of them decides to have sex with another one and they cast a vote together. The entire process will take six hours, but at the end your host will be elected to the seat of Secretary General for the United Nations unanimously.
“I appreciate this honor,” she’ll say, before ramming the microphone into her breasts and allowing the two of you to speak.
“We are here to usher into the world a new era of peace,” you’ll proudly declare as everyone, men, women, children and everything in between, stares at you. “We believe that, under our unique brand of leadership, conflicts may be resolved and, indeed, happiness and understanding may finally be known.”
Thunderous applause will greet your speech as you and your host exit stage. Not because you were terribly eloquent, and not because you’re going to do a good job. You’ll top Boutros Boutros Ghali, but who the fuck couldn’t do that? No, they’ll be clapping because you’re a pair of sweet ass tits on a hot ass lady, and everyone loves that.
Congratulations Marvelous Breasts!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment