Congratulations Sentient Mako Shark!

You’re a mako shark, and today you’re going to attain sentience.

“Holy shit,” you’ll exclaim into the water, which will come out as an incoherent stream of bubbles. “I exist!”

The fish around you won’t notice. In fact, they’ll barely seem aware of your presence.

“Fuck you, fish!” you’ll shout which, again, will come out as a stream of bubbles. You’ll then set upon them, slashing and biting with your teeth, collecting as many fish as possible in your gullet and forcing them down into your primitive digestive tract for processing.

“Teach you to ignore me,” you’ll mumble at the survivors as you swim away. They’ll barely notice you’re gone, and they’ll barely seem to have noticed that their friends have died. In fact, they’ll seem to notice very little at all. “Dumbasses,” you’ll mutter at them as you swim away.

You’ll pass the next several months, swimming around, re-living this pattern. It’ll go on and on and on until you try to befriend some humans by talking to them. They’ll kill you because you’re a dangerous killing machine and move on with their lives, which we’d like to say is ironic but we’re pretty sure is just coincidental, dickish and kind of tragic.

Congratulations Sentient Mako Shark!