Saturday, January 25, 2014

Congratulations Sexy Lady Bank Robbers!



When the three of you bust into his office you'll be dressed to the nines: wearing pants suits with close cropped hair and sensible half-inch heels.  The manager will gulp at your entry.

"Can I help you ladies?" he'll ask, voice cracking on the ladies, squeaking upward.

"You can help break the glass ceiling," one of you will murmur into his ear from his elbow.

"You can level the career playing field," another will say from his other elbow.

"You can stop raping," the most extreme one of you will whisper at him from just above his head.

"Oh my," he'll say, before turning bright right and staring at his desk.

After that introduction it'll be a simple matter to get the keycard for a "routine vault inspection" and then, with the help of the bank manager, the security guards, and some of the more guilty looking male tellers and bankers, load a bunch of duffel bags full of cash into the back of your Trans Am.

Before driving away to your safehouse one of you will say "The Women's Rights Movement thanks you."  Then you'll depart, leaving the male staff of the bank feeling like they've done something wrong, something they're unwilling, thanks to a combination of your good looks and a decade and a half of sexual harassment training, to put a name to, something they're all but incapable of putting a name to in the name of workplace equality.

Sure, you all know you'll go down sooner or later, but for now the three of you will be robbing banks, riding high, and occasionally selling movie ideas to a coked up James Franco.

Congratulations Sexy Lady Bank Robbers!

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