Monday, November 25, 2013

Congratulations Thousands of Mites!



Your collective mass contains multitudes: not simply a single pulsing intellect but a mass thereof, a driving chaotic force that accelerates as a single entity.  It would be a remarkable thing to behold if it wasn't for the fact that your particular pulsating intellect-mass is entirely dedicated to two things: laying eggs and biting people on and around their genitals.

You're a mass of mites, possessed, through an irregularity of evolution, of a single hive mind.  You live in the pubic hair of one young woman, named Shawna.  Shawna, while a kind enough soul, doesn't care much for personal grooming, so your existence will, for the most part, be danger free: no risk of being uprooted or killed en-masse by some sort of hygenic experiment.

Well, no risk until today.

Some backstory: Shawna met a young man named Forbit a few weeks ago.  Shawna and Forbit struck up a relationship and fell madly in love with one another but Shawna, who was used to having a truly remarkable mass of pubic hair, wasn't getting her downstairs taken care of by the hair-averse Forbit.  Forbit, in turn, asked her to shave.

Shawna might've done something harsh in response, like asked Forbit to change his name to something less incredibly fucking stupid, but she didn't.  Instead she quietly, sadly, shaved her pubic hair.

That was this morning.  You've clung to the hairs, which settled on Shawna's bathroom floor, since.  As time drifts by, you'll realize that there's no way you'll be able to survive long enough to find a new host, particularly a host with as abundant a pubic mass as Shawna.  So you'll do what mites always do.

You'll emit a nearly imperceptible keening song that tears at the heart of anyone who listens to it.

It will be imperceptible to human ears, and no one will be home, but some silverfish in the walls will catch parts of your ditty and be very, very touched.  Of course, it won't keep you from dying.

Enjoy non-existence!

Congratulations Thousands of Mites!

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