Congratulations on Drowning Your Pussy Goblins!

They'll squirm inside you as you lay your money down at the store.  The clerk will look at you and nod knowingly.

"I've been there, sister," she'll say, pointing to her crotch.  You'll blink, then roll your eyes.

"So it'll work for sure?" you'll ask her.

"Sure as spit."  She'll follow up her statement by spitting into her hand and slapping her palm against yours.  That'll make you feel womanly and powerful until one of the little buggers pokes the wrong way and you remember that you've still got pussy goblins.

You'll give her your money and hurry out of the story.  On the ride home, people on the subway will look at you funny, like you're crazy.  They'll stare at your vagina, which will be covered by jeans, but will still be emitting audible squicking and squealing noises.  When you get into your apartment you'll take off your pants, get in the tub, and put the gemstone on a chain around the faucet of your tub.  Then you'll remove your underpants and open your legs.

The first pussy goblin will emerge cautiously, sniffing the air.  He'll be a dandy little fellow with a feather in his cap, clearly a leader of pussy-goblin-kind.  The second pussy goblin will be a rougher sort, clearly the sort of pussy goblin who likes a good fight.  You'll be relieved to see his kind coming out: that's the sort of pussy goblin that pushed you into cavorting with the dark arts.

There will be far more of the latter arrayed beneath your drain as time goes on.  Once the pussy goblins are finally out, all reaching towards the gemstone dangling above them.  Once you're sure they're all out, you'll turn on the faucet and watch the pussy goblins get dashed and tumbled by the water.  The gemstone, to its credit, will remain completely still, aligned with the earth's core.  As the water tumbles over it, it won't move.  As the water rises, the gemstone won't move.  When they touch the gem, the pussy goblins will be stuck to it, trapped under water, transfixed.  As the air leaves their lungs panicked expressions will form on their tiny faces, but with enough time they'll all eventually look the same: bulbous eyes, calm mouths, bloated skin.

After half an hour you'll uncork the drain and wash some of the pussy goblins out, but there will just be too many.  In the end you'll have to clean up your tub with a dustpan and brush before, finally, giving in and just scooping their corpses out with your hands and flushing them down the toilet.

When the process is done you'll feel lighter and healthier, but positively filthy too.  You'll want to take a long shower or a bath to be able to relax, but given what just happened in the tub, you won't feel comfortable doing so, so you'll go to sleep early, gemstone still hanging from the faucet, just in case an errant pussy goblin escaped.

Congratulations on Drowning Your Pussy Goblins!