Today you’re going to finish writing your play about how
your dad touched you this one time when you were young and it took you a long
time to get over it, but you’re more or less okay about it.
In a few months your dad will meet you after the opening of
the play.
“So,” he’ll say awkwardly.
“Soooooooo…” you’ll respond, trailing off as you look
desperately for an avenue of escape.
“None of that actually happened.”
You’ll shrug.
“There was that one time where you made me feel a little
like you didn’t want to pay attention to me that one day.”
“What?” he’ll respond.
“HELP MY DAD IS GOING TO TOUCH ME AGAIN! AHHHH!” will be your counter. At this point your fans (who make no mistake,
are psychopaths) will surround your father and begin tearing him to pieces.
“I’m so happy for your success! I love you so much!” will be his last words
as he’s murdered by the crowd. This will
lead to you writing your considerably less successful follow-up play: I
Pretended My Dad Touched Me in a Play and then My Fans Murdered Him, Sort of For
Me, Sort of For Their Own Sake.
It will open to middling reviews.
Congratulations on Writing Your Play!
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