You represent the bat people who live inside the hollow
earth, and today you’re going to meet with the president. Of the United States. Of motherfucking America.
You’ll be lead into his offices and seated next to him.
“Pleasure to meet you,” he’ll say, extending his hand and
smiling. “I hope your journey was
pleasant.”
You’ll take his hand and respond:
“SKREEE!”
Everyone in the room will cover their ears in a panic. A secret service representative played by
Channing Tatum will shoot you in the face to get you to stop making the
piercing sound that emanating from your gullet.
Once it’s done, everyone in the room will be confused. The only choice, as they see it, will be
going to war. The alternative (admitting
they made a mistake) will be too embarrassing.
Thus begins the American ghost war against the bat people.
Congratulations Bat Person Representative!
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