Congratulations on Finding a Girl Who Will Associate with You in Public!

With your old-man recruit in the bag you’re looking good, but you still need to round out your team of misfits if you want to take down all those corrupt authority figures who fucked up your frat shit.  That means you’re going to have to take some drastic measures:  you’re going to have to get a girl.

She’ll be able to do things (seduce men outside of frats) and go places (women’s restrooms) that you simply cannot.  And you have the perfect girl in mind: your sister.  She’s a huge whore, she hats fratboys, and she loves slutting it up.  She’s also a disgraced CIA operative living under the radar in the middle of nowhere, Nevada.

Today you’ll pull up to her trailer and step out of your car cautiously.  A shotgun blast will kick the dust up near your feet.

“You know the danger you’re putting me in?” your sister will shout.  The sound of her voice will echo around the canyon surrounding her mobile home.  You won’t be able to tell where she is, though you’ll know she’s not in the trailer.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t worth it,” you’ll shout back.  She’ll be quiet a while, then speak up.

“I’m listening.”

You’ll explain the whole story, emphasizing the whole “love” and “betrayal” thing, since chicks tend to dig shit like that.  After you finish you’ll just be standing there alone for a good long while in silence.  After almost five minutes, your sister will appear, shotgun still in her hands.

“You’ve got me until the end of the week,” she’ll murmur as she throws her shotgun in the back and hops in the front seat of her car.  “After that, I’m going to have to disappear again.”

“Thanks,” you’ll mumble at her.

“Don’t mention it,” she’ll spit back, staring out the window, wondering what she’ll have gotten herself into this time.

Congratulations on Finding a Girl Who Will Associate with You in Public!