Congratulations on Your Hit Song!

You and your bros are gonna be out drinking tonight at one of the hottest bars in central Jersey when you start up the chant:

“Too-true-mon-frere,” you’ll shout at the top of your lungs.

Then Reginald, your bro who has OCD and loves to sing a cappella, will join in.

“Toooooo truuuuuuuuuue mon fraaaaaaayer!”

This will draw the attention of Jose, your bro who DJs.  Jose will hop in with a sweet dubstep beat, pulling out a “wub wub wub” beatbox that won’t drop until your bro Terrence starts shouting “REMIX” at the top of his lungs, which will give Jose a chance to switch it up.

At this point, classically trained opera singer Chad will come in and start trilling it out.

“Too truuuuuuuhooooo mahnnnnnn freeeeeeeeeeeee-rrrrrrrrrrrrr.”  Chad will let the last note resonate in his throat, giving the whole collage of sound a nice, rich feeling.

Meanwhile a record producer will be walking down the street nearby.  He’ll hear all of your bros singing while you atonally shout at them and he’ll know, right then and there, that he’s got a hit song on his hands.  He’ll run up to you and thrust his card in your hands.

“See here boys, you’ve got the sound that I’ve been looking for,” he’ll explain as he tweaks his handlebar moustache.  After a brief altercation the five of you will realize that he’s not asking you to blow him and you’ll agree to meet at his studio the next day.  While there you’ll record a version of the impromptu song you created the previous night and, once that’s done, accidentally end up blowing him.  It happens.

Later on, after the song has been released to rave sales and excoriating reviews, Scott Aukerman, Chelsea Peretti and Harris Wittels will collectively sue you for unconsciously ripping off their previously recorded, non-hit song, first released on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast of moderate fame.  It will become a landmark case, establishing that saying something on a podcast legally classifies it as your intellectual property.  It will leave the five of you impoverished and working at the Ed Hardy store again, but you’ll have had a hell of a ride by then.

Congratulations on Your Hit Song!