Congratulations, You Solved the Hellbeast's Puzzle!

Sometimes you date a girl and she’s crazy good in bed and actually crazy.  Understandable.  And sometimes you date a girl who appears to be crazy good in bed and actually crazy and then it turns out she’s part of a cult that worships pain-crazed demons from another plane who must be summoned by acts of depravity and terror and lust and a weird puzzle box.  That’s not entirely on you, everybody makes mistakes.

So this afternoon, when Shauna gets dismembered by Numidon, the Bleak Toothed Grin of the End of the Earth, you’re gonna have a problem because you helped her get the bloke here and by Numidon’s standards, you’ll be party to his summoning.

In order to return him to his home within the Netherrealm you’re going to have to solve the Puzzlebox you used to summon him.  But it’s gonna be tough with your eyes turned to orbs of burning ash that can no longer see, right?

Wrong!

You’ll have solved a side of the puzzle previously and, knowing this and having not had a lot of sex in high school, you’ll be able to solve the Puzzlebox of Ages (actually just a rubix cube) with your eyes literally burned out of your skull.  You’ll twist it and turn it and before you know, for a fact, that the puzzle is solved deep down in your nerd bones.  Then you’ll hand it to Numidon.  His worn throat will clatter as he exhales and he takes you in before he murmurs in his death rattle.

“As arranged.”

Then he’ll leave you there, eyes burned out of your skull, shreds of Shauna all around you, to be found by your landlord, who is also blind.  Thus will begin one of the better concepts for a sitcom we’ve seen over the last four years.

Congratulations, You Solved the Hellbeast’s Puzzle!