Now that gay marriage has the full support of President
Obama (OR SHOULD WE SAY PRESIDENT OSAMA [we should not]) we all knew this was
coming. When he let gays actually say
they were gay while shooting people and getting shot at, it was just a matter
of time. And today you’re going to make
it happen you son of a bitch.
You’re going to marry a horse.
Her name will be Blue Bell.
She’ll be a mature Clydesdale with excellent coloring and superlative
muscle and bone structure. You’ll have
to use a specially made step ladder to consummate the marriage, which will
occur in California, where gay marriage remains a troubled issue.
The irony will not be lost on the gays as Arnold
Schwarzenegger officiates your wedding, mostly by quoting Predator and
Terminator films, even ones he wasn’t in.
In about three months the marriage will be legally contested
by someone who correctly points out that a horse, unlike a person, cannot
consent to marriage, despite her capacity to say “nay.”
Congratulations on Marrying a Horse!
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