Lots of people have been parodying Gotye and all of them
have been terrible. Turns out when you parody
a lackluster song you end up with a lackluster parody about Duck Hunt or the
show VR Troopers or Duck Tales or whatever.
Doesn’t matter what goes in, garbage comes out.
Until today.
Today, you’re going to tell your mom over breakfast that you
“plan to cover that Gotye song and get it right this time.” Then you’ll lock yourself in the room you’ve
lived in for the last twenty six years and get to work, Googling topics and
getting your friend Hank, who you would (and should) totally be fucking
constantly if you weren’t so horrified of your own homosexuality, to help you
out with the choreography and the camera work.
You’ll use a mannequin you salvaged from a local junkyard to stand in
for Kimbra and make a video of “Now you’re just the sequel to Mannequin that I
used to know,” a Mannequin 2 based Gotye parody video which will hit all the
targets required for virality: sufficient obscurity of subject matter paired
with relative accessibility of said subject matter, poor production quality and
apparent low cost, genuine enthusiasm and scads of homoerotic overtones.
All of these forces will combine to make an incredibly viral
Gotye parody video, one which knows what the Gotye video was trying to do and
blows it out of the water with the artistic capacity and self-awareness of a
tween. The internet will sink its teeth
into your concept right away and refuse to let go. Your email inbox will be flooded, your mom’s
phone will be uncovered and hacked and flowers will arrive on your doorstep.
You’ll achieve your life’s goal of internet fame,
effectively making the rest of your life totally meaningless, since what’s life
without something to aspire towards?
Luckily you’re used to living a pointless shell of an existence, so you
won’t have to change much about your day to day operations. Your mom will be kind of pissed that you’ll
have so many people calling the house and still won’t be able to contribute to
rent, even a little.
Congratulations on Making that Gotye Parody Video!
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