Congratulations Giant Douche!

Regular sized douches do regular sized douche things, like cleaning out vaginas, wearing Axe body spray, and date raping sorority sisters who were purportedly "asking for it."  Giant douches do giant douche things.

There are two ways this can go.

You can become the biggest douche in the world, voting against same sex marriage while fucking men in bathrooms while telling women that their vaginas prevent rape pregnancies while cutting funding to police precincts when they attempt to engage in crime prevention while decrying the deterioration of American values while avidly claiming that we are the best country ever and never need to change.  This is a path one can choose, a long and lonesome path that, even when fully surrounded by others, one must always walk alone.

Or you can just be the kind of douche that cleans out giant vaginas in the Cloud Kingdom, where giants live.  This will be a thankless existence, and eventually giants will learn that you are, in fact, less a hygienic product and more a device designed to make them uncomfortable by men who are largely ignorant of the functionality of giant vaginas.  You'll be crammed up into some pretty horrifying vaginas before being discarded in the trash with a number of other unpleasant things, if you're lucky, if you aren't kept about and re-used by someone who doesn't read the directions correctly.

They're both rough paths, but we hope you choose the latter.  At least that way you won't be hurting people quite as much, and you won't be quite so loud.  When it comes to douchebags, it's best to have the temerity to be a nice, quiet douchebags, the kind that keeps to oneself.

Congratulations Giant Douche!