Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Congratulations Dangerous Minds Teacher!



"Did you know that William Shakespeare was the original rapper?" you'll shout at your students.  They'll all look at one another and shake their heads.  Malik, who will be sitting up front, will raise his hand.  You'll point to him and say "Yo" as a means of prompting him to speak.

"That's a pretty gross mischaracterization of contemporary hip hop, and of Shakespeare's plays," he'll say.  The class will make noises of gentle agreement in response but you, reacting to what you perceive as "h8r spch" will respond by shouting:

"OH SNAP!  LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A CHALLENGAH!  RAP BATTLE TIME!"

Malik will sigh and stand up from his desk.  This will be a common occurrence in your classroom, as will be what comes next.  You'll spit awkward rhymes at Malik (at one point rhyming "everything you knew" with "could fit into a shoe") while he patiently waits for you to finish.  Once you're done you'll sit down, having won the rap battle in your estimation.  In the meanwhile, the class will, during your rap-off, have begun to have a thorough discussion of Shakespeare's histories in comparison to his comedies and fictional dramas.  Most of the students will claim that the histories, while significant culturally for establishing a record of British conceptualization of Roman history during Shakespeare's era, represent weaker literature overall, but a handful of students will contend that some of the most interesting structure in Shakespeares work occurs in his middle period histories.  Once you start catching wind of the nuanced discussion that students are engaging in you'll scream:

"DON'T BE HATIN'!" at the top of your lungs, briefly derailing a few of the discussion groups before your students return to the process of ignoring you while discussing literature with a depth and focus that you  will be thoroughly unable to follow.  In your mind, this will mean you're getting through to these kids.  The reality will, as is often the case in your life, be far removed from your perception thereof.

Congratulations Dangerous Minds Teacher!

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