Everyone here in the office scoffed when we heard Jim on the floor, writhing in agony and spouting the many varied absurd aspects of your plan. Jenny, from accounting, said “That will never work” loudly and most of the office agreed with her. But after a harrowing adventure which will test the bonds between you and your adventure mates as well as your own thoughts about the person you are deep down.
During the planning phase people who hear your ideas in passing will laugh at you, dismissing you as a crazy fool. But in the back of their minds there will remain a sliver of doubt. What if it all works out? they’ll wonder. “Will we look foolish?” they’ll ask their spouses later that night, attempting to conjure some hint of the spark that once guided their romance. Their spouses will shrug, one and all, before mechanically engaging in the pantomime that has come to represent sex for them.
Even people who you thought supported you will laugh you out of conversations when you discuss, or even mention your plan. This will lead to a harrowing of your friends which will, in the end, show who truly believed in you and who was simply paying you lip service as a human being all these years. It may also lead to an exciting new sexual encounter.
Then the plan will be executed. No one will have seen it coming, just as you suspected, and your crazy idea will prove to be a dramatic and decisive success. We’ll give you a few minutes to deal with the severity of this information, but we’d like to let you know that when we’d heard the news we started to slowly clap and then eventually let our applause grow into a cheering cacophony. We’ll let you celebrate in your own way, and we hope you enjoy your newfound sexual partner.
Congratulations on Pulling Off a Plan We All Thought Was Way Too Crazy To Work!
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