This is far from set in stone, but we received a very polite call from a very sick girl (a certain indie darling named Leslie Feist) who asked us to put together a large, pleasant event. Since we normally tell you how everything you love is going to one day die and how everything you do is not only meaningless but senseless and horrible we really didn’t want to. But then she sang, and the people who didn’t want to have sex with her lapsed into deep comas from which they could not awake and, ergo, could not vote on today’s topic.
So today we’re not telling any of you how you’re doomed and going to get fucked in the mouth by an unwashed homeless man. Today we’re telling you to go a mall and sing.
Sing at the top of your lungs and just shout. If you live in a place without any readily available malls just stand outside of strip malls and sing at the top of your lungs. Those without strip malls should opt to stand near supermarkets and scream punk lyrics at the top of their lungs.
Regardless of talent or schooling we high recommend that you sing that the top of you lungs tomorrow in a public place. If you don’t we predict a high chance that Leslie Feist will never have sex with you.
Congratulations on Singing!
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