Congratulations on Reaching Your Destination!

After that whole Triad thing you'll get a little lost, which is totally understandable. You rarely leave the confines of your apartment sober and have become unaccustomed to navigating the city during the day. So instead of taking you less than an hour the journey will take you four god damn days. You’ll spend most of that time in the sewers, doing things that make us incredibly uncomfortable, despite the amazing and terrible things our future-eyes have seen.

Luckily New Yorkers will care just as much about your trash soaked tuxedo as they did about about it when it just smelled like human blood and fear. The odor of human waste and filth and moleman blood and semen clinging to you will mesh with the greater miasama that makes up New York’s collective scent, and you’ll blend with the crowd seamlessly. Your passage to the Upper East Side will proceed without incident.

When you arrive you’ll gulp, look at the door and announce, to no one in particular, “I hope this goes alright!”

You’ll ring the doorbell and a woman in a slinky black evening gown will answer without a moment’s pause. She’ll be beautiful, intimidatingly so, and she’ll take you in with a single glance, measuring all that you have been and will ever be. She’ll be unimpressed.

“Enter,” she’ll say with just a hint of a Russian accent.

“Well okay!” you’ll respond, throwing your hands up in the air.

You’ll remove your shoes and jacket at the door, taking great care not to rest them on anything that might hold the scent still clinging to them. Your Russian hostess will rush ahead without asking you to follow, and when you dolely sneak in the room behind her you’ll see her finish fitting a plastic sleeve to a comfortable, very expensive looking overstuffed chair.

“Sit,” she’ll say, and you’ll comply.

“So why am I-“ you’ll begin, but before you can finish the sentence she’ll ram a drink in your hand.

“Drink,” she’ll say.

“Well okay!” you’ll say again, comically taking a large sip.

The room will immediately seem less substantial and the Russian woman will begin laughing maniacally. As the world fades to black you’ll bite your lip before saying “Oh.”

Congratulations on Reaching Your Destination!