Who's a good boy?
Who's a good boyyyy?
Today, you are!
You're the best boy! Yes you
are! Yes you arrrrreeeee!
Because today you're the bestest dog in Hell, and you're
going to spend your day digging for shiny objects and tennis balls that have
been wedged inside the bodies of the damned.
You'll rip into people with your razor sharp claws and your angular,
gnashing teeth, and you'll find just what you're looking for every time because
you're such a good boy, yes you are!
Later on today, you'll fall asleep underneath a gout of
sulfur for a few hours. As you dream,
you'll imagine a time when you weren't such a good boy, when you'd bite
children and piss all over floors and generally just kind of act like an
asshole. When you wake up, it'll be with
a start: you'll have been imagining that you were running and, shocker, you
started running in your sleep. Your legs
will be pinwheeling madly as your keeper, a Cacofiend named Terrence, watches
you and smiles. Sure, it's Hell, but
everyone deserves a second chance, and if you and Terrence can give each other
a minute of happiness, well, that's okay in Lucifer's eyes.
But don't tarry long!
The Damned need to have their guts rended by the bestest boy in all of Hell! Aww!
G'boyyyyy!
Congratulations Fiendish Hound!
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