Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Congratulations on Taking Up Morphine and Then Giving It Up!

Today you’re going to be one of the millions whose lives have been ruined, or in this case nearly ruined, by morphine.

Following a car accident you’re going to be hospitalized with a fractured femur and a broken collarbone. You’ll be taken to the ICU and immediately hooked up to a morphine drip, which will dull the pain coming over your shattered body in waves.

The morphine will course strong through your veins for upwards of six hours before it stops, and when it stops the mind searing pain will return.

“My god,” you’ll say to your bewildered Jamaican nurse, who prefers it when her patients simply ignore her or insult her. “I think I might be addicted to morphine.”

“This feels like hell,” you’ll add as she hurries out of the room to pretend that you didn’t speak to her.

As you lay there in bed you’ll resolve never to use morphine again, lest it has been prescribed to you by a licensed physician, lest it ruin your life. Gritting your teeth in pain, you’ll look around the room and wonder when the next dose of sweet, sweet painkillers will come and wash this horrible feeling away.

Congratulations on Taking Up Morphine and Then Giving It Up!

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