Monday, July 26, 2010

Congratulations Carrion Birds!

Today through a combination of jet engine failure, general incompetence on the part of a pilot and extremely implausible odds you and your bird buddies are going to find a perfect human for munching at around 4:15 this afternoon. He’ll be morbidly obese, which means he’ll be super tender, and most of his natural juices will still be good and fresh since he’ll have died not of dehydration or exposure but of heart failure following a panic attack after he has pulled himself clear of the wreckage of the crash.

This, paired with the spotting of an exceptionally shiny object during your daily patrol, will make this the best day you can remember in a long time, which isn’t very long at all because you’re a fucking bird.

Congratulations Carrion Birds!

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