It’s fair to say that we’re prone to hyperbole here at Sexy Results Future Agency. We sometimes exaggerate. In fact, we’ve posited that we might one day elevate the art of hyperbole to such an extent that it’ll grow into a future sport pronounced “hyper-bowl” that people will flock from galaxies away to come and see.
We only say this to let you know that we are not exaggerating when we see that you are so ugly that today you’re going to stare at a field in southern Greece and render it fallow with the force of your hideousness. It’s new to people over there, but it’s what caused the majority of the east coast to become untenable as farm land, and the opposing principle is what allows people in certain parts of Brooklyn and Portland to plant and eat their own crops in their yards.
If you want to keep farming we’d recommend that you invest in masks. There are a number of very stylish ones (Eyes Wide Shut really helped bring them back into fashion) and you can pass as normal in most social situations while wearing one.
And sorry about your fields, Uggs.
Congratulations on Making the Fields Fallow!
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