It's been a long time since you've seen any work, Dancing Baby. Since Ally McBeal ended you haven't really done much of anything, come to think of it, except whine about how great things used to be back in the day. You discovered pot soon after that show was canceled, and since then it's all just gone downhill.
But today it's all going to turn around. Today you're going to pull your life out of the shitter and show the world that the Ally McBeal baby's still got it!
You'll do this by waking up and robbing a bank.
"Aww!" the bank patrols will coo as you execute a guard.
"ANYONE ELSE WANT TO BE A HERO?" you'll shout at the top of your lungs as the crowd watches you with admiration in their eyes. They'll all shake their heads.
"Didn't think so," you'll mutter to yourself as you hold out your money-sack to the teller and motion to her with your gun.
When you're captured leaving the bank you'll feel so good about being in the spotlight again that you'll hardly even care about the fact that you're going to prison for the rest of your life, which is especially rough because you're actually an immortal dancing baby who existed only for one ephemeral moment in America's collective consciousness and, as such, will be alive for a very, very long time.
Congratulations Dancing Baby!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
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