Today you and your gang of street toughs will happen upon an elderly gentleman with a bowler cap and a refined air whilst engaging in some no goodery outside the local bowling alley.
"Halt!" you'll say, holding up your hand. You're a very well put together gang and you like to fit your diction to your victims, so this won't be out of the ordinary at all.
The man will halt obediently, tip his hat and smile at you and your cohorts.
"How man I assist -" he'll begin, but he won't get halfway through his sentence before Reno, the least refined member of your gang, punches him right in the face. Reno will punch him two more times on the ground before you walk up behind your unruly compatriot and rap him on the back of the head with your cane, sending his body down on top of the already seriously injured dandy.
"Apologies," you'll say, taking a long draw from a cigarette while two of your gang mates pull Reno off the horrified gentleman. "You know how kids are."
You'll lift the gentleman's bowler cap from the ground and hold it out in front of him upside down. Your intent will be clear, his eyes wide and fearful.
"If you'd be so kind," you'll purr at him. He'll reach into his pockets, trembling, but he'll be shaking so hard he won't be able to grasp anything. Fear will rack his body, incapacitate him. His inability to act will be so complete that he won't even flinch when you raise your cane again and strike him on the temple, knocking him unconscious in one swift stroke.
Your boys will strip his body, handing you his watch and his wallet, after they've taken all the cash out of it (you don't like to get your hands dirty). Bemused by this man, this evolutionary dead end, you'll check his driver's license. It will read Thom Thompson, Esq.
You'll toss the wallet at his supine body and nod to the bowling alley attendant who will be waiting for your signal outside. The attendant will hurry back in and dial 9-1-1 while you and your boys go on a leisurely stroll and you start to put together the chat you plan on having with Reno about savoring the moment and staying in line in the future.
Congratulations on Beating Thom Thompson!
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