This evening, after doing several dozen shots and purchasing a bag of “pork rinds” from a local bodega you’ll decide, as you’re about to walk out the door, to purchase several scratch tickets. You’ll start scratching them without paying for them, over the Hindu store proprietor’s protests, until you win ten dollars. Then you’ll just slide him the card and ask him for five more tickets. It will go this way for thirty minutes until you finally lose a set of tickets, making yourself look incredibly foolish and missing out on the twenty thousand dollar ticket that was next up on the roll because you were too shitty at gambling to know any better.
Congratulations on Totally Blowing It! Loser!
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