Congratulations on Making Yourself a New Friend!

You’ve been lonely since Margaret left. Her companionship, her assistance, her wisdom, all these things made her more than just a lab assistant for you. They made her a companion, a life partner. Sure you would sometimes yell at her and strike her and you once referred to her as “the single most revolting cunt that the world has ever seen” but that was no reason for her to fly all off the handle and request a new assignment from The Guild.

But that’s just what she did and your death fortress has been all but still since then. You’ve done your best to fill your waking hours with various projects, but it just hasn’t been the same. The quiet has been getting to you more and more of late. Why, just the other day you were crying in the shower just thinking of her voice, informing you that the bacteriophage had finished processing. That’s why you’ll be filled to the brim with joy when you check your Outlook calendar and see that today is the day you can finally release your latest creation from its incubation tank.

Bruno, who began her life as a female albino mouse you ordered from a testing supplier, will have grown since you started work on her months ago. Her body will ripple with barely concealed muscle, her form now filling the massive tank you constructed for her development. The only traits visible from her past existence will be her white fur, matted and gray in the fluid of the tank, and her vicious looking claws and teeth which will have increased proportionally with the rest of her body.

When you approach the tank she’ll put a claw up near your face, looking at you with sympathy and loyalty. She’ll have constantly bombarded with aural and subliminal stimulation while in her tank, all of it aimed at imprinting her with loyalty towards you, as well as a set of basic technical skills which you normally require your genetically engineered mouse people to have in order for them to constitute “good company.” She’ll be aware, dimly, of a world outside the tank, but mostly she’ll know only your face, your voice. As the fluid drains she’ll panic, smashing her fists against the sides of the tank with a force that will cause a latticework of cracks to appear in the glass. You’ll back away, remembering how Dr. Lasercut once nearly lost an arm to a particularly clumsy creation with no ill-will towards him.

Once the fluid has finished draining the tube will slowly rise over Bruno’s head. Bruno won’t wait for it to finish, however. She’ll claw at the base of the tank, struggling to ram her muscular body through the widening opening. She’ll be out and on her feet before the tank is even halfway up, rushing towards you.

You’ll panic, reaching for the taser next to you keep handy for just such occasions, but you’ll never have the chance to pick it up. Bruno will be on you in seconds, clutching you to her, screeching wordlessly. You’ll expect to feel her claws rip into your flesh and rend your skin at any moment but instead you’ll feel her hot breath on the side of your neck, her tube’s fluids soaking your white lab coat.

You’ll realize, after a moment, that she’s embracing you, showing her thanks for your act of giving her life, sentience. You’ll hug her back tentatively, hoping that she doesn’t break any ribs with her display of affection. As you stroke the fur on the back of her head you’ll smile, thinking of the good times the two of you have ahead, a long stream of days assembling death cannons and teaching her basic English language skills.

Congratulations on Making Yourself a New Friend!