Today you’re going to be actress Megan Fox, and you’re going to try reading a fucking book for a change.
“I don’t like this,” you’ll whine, throwing your Caesar salad (minus the dressing, cheese and croutons) at your assistant as he tells you it’s not his decision.
“This is hard,” you’ll tell your latest boyfriend as he does his best to pretend you’re not there, playing the latest video game on his Box Station: Movement Plus.
“Why do I have to do this?” you’ll ask your agent as she shouts her lungs out at Michael Bay, trying to convince him to expand your role in the next terrible Transformers movie.
“Aggh!” you’ll shout at your empty Hollywood town home, hurling the book at the wall. “Who writes these things?” you’ll scream at no one in particuular.
If the book could answer it would. It would tell you that it is a copy of The Giver, written by Lois Lowry. It would tell you that while reading is more difficult than, say, doing cocaine and yelling at poor people, it is also a good deal more rewarding. It will want to tell you all these things, but it will only be a book, and it will not be able to speak with you.
Congratulations on Reading a Fucking Book for a Change!
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