Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Congratulations on Solving World Hunger!



Scientists have been working around the clock to solve world hunger for decades.  They've worked on supercrops, they've worked on streamlining delivery methods, they've worked on condensing food and improving its preservation for long periods of time  Every single plan, every single joint action, will have failed.  Until today, when you attempt something truly startling.

It'll begin with a realization on your part that the problem, really, is that there are so many people.  With fewer people there'd be less of a need for food.  With that in mind, you started working on what you'll call "the final solution to hunger."  It'll be a disease tailored to work on about 90% of the population.

"As long as most of the people in India die we should be alright," you'll tell your lab assistant who, desperate for employment after getting his doctorate, will eagerly work to help you eradicate most of humanity.  With a combination of grants from the NSF, donations from private investors and your savings, you'll have poured every last ounce of your savings into developing this "superdisease" that will spread through the population effectively and leave only a small, shivering fragment of it alive.

You've been working on tailoring the disease so that it targets poor people and brown people, but eventually that became cumbersome, so you decided to just try to kill as many people as possible.  After some horrific early tests you've decided that your disease is ready for prime time.  Today, on Christmas Eve, you're going to be disseminating your special illness to members of your science company's HR department before they travel home.  The disease will take three days to reach term, so the people from HR won't start dropping dead until Boxing Day, but by the time they do everyone they've been in contact with will be infected. 

Immunize yourself, murder your assistant, and lock yourself in your disease bunker.  It's going to be a crazy holiday season!

Congratulations on Solving World Hunger!

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