Today you’re going to go on stage during an open mic in Harlem and unleash a series of racial epithets the like that we’ve never seen. Now, a few of them will be directed at black people, but those won’t draw any attention from the crowd (they’re mostly black, like you). And some of them will be directed at white people and Mexican people (the identifier you apply to all people of Hispanic background because you’re a huge fucking racist). Again, no one gives a shit about these epithets. Or the ones you sling at Jews, the handicapped, Jehovas Witness’ (who we didn’t consider a race before tonight) Finnish people, New Zealanders and Brazilians. While your thoroughness will be impressive the epithets themselves will be boiler plate; bog standard racism we’ve all heard before.
It won’t be until you define and deride a heretofore undefined racial group in America you deem “Cuthwizards,” which we assume is a corruption of “cunt,” “meth,” “wizard” and possibly “ass.” We can’t really go into what a “Cuthwizard” is but we ask that everyone keep their eye out for any open mics scheduled for tonight and do their best to be there so they can get the full experience. People won’t want to miss it, and Youtube’s dickishly strict policy on removing inflammatory speech will make it tough to see the “event that shakes America to its core” on the internet in the weeks following your amazing act.
Congratulations on Redefining Racism!
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