Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Congratulations on Emerging From Your Apartment Briefly!

When the light strikes your nearly translucent skin it will burn. But only a for a moment, and when you draw your hand back inside your skin will be charred jet black. You'll tap it gently with your finger and it will be hard as obsidian to the touch and just as hot. You'll flex your hand, confirming the mobility of each individual finger before you push it outside again to see if anything will happen.

The burned portion of your arm will remain unchanged, but as you dip your body out a little more light will catch your shoulder and searing pain will shoot through you. You'll flee back into the refuge of your apartment, where natural light hasn't been seen in years and gaze into the mirror at the patch of stone-skin which will have grown over your shoulder.

"Hm," you'll mutter, briefly removing your pants and looking at your penis. Then, with a shrug, you'll head back out to your front door and stand there waiting until the burning subsides. Then you'll turn around slowly, agony firing through your body. You'll even get on your back and turn each of your feet up towards the sunlight to make sure you get your soles. At one point you'll expose your taint to the sun, just to be sure that the job is as done as it can be.

When you're finished your entire body will be covered in hairless black stone. Your shoulders will feel taut underneath it, as if the stone has granted your muscles definition. Your arms will feel light, your calves perfectly formed. None of the deformities that forced you indoors years ago will plague you any more, and your dick will be black, which apparently your ex-girlfriend is into.

All in all you'll be perfectly suited to fight crime - or you would be if not for your crippling fear of public spaces. But that's irony for you!

Congratulations on Emerging From Your Apartment Briefly!

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