Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Congratulations Rod Stewart!

Today you’re going to swallow a bunch of jizz and die. This is super bad for you because you’re a hard-line Republican senator with a history of voting against gay rights and supporting “family values.” It’s basically going to be your entire legacy in death, the fact that you were an aggressively bad person who lied a lot and didn’t even have integrity to back up his hate.

But this is a big get for Rod Stewart, whose famed “stomach full of semen” story has haunted him for years. Now whenever some dick brings that story up to him at a party or during an interview he’ll be able to say “at least I didn’t die like that homophobe senator, may he burn wherever he has fallen.” Then him and the person he’s talking to will be able to have a good laugh at your expense, which is good because laughter is important.

Congratulations Rod Stewart!

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