You’re not bad people, per sec. You’re just folk. You get up every day and put on the polo shirts you got from a now defunct software company at a marketing event one sleeve at a time just like every other person in an unhappy marriage. Every single one of you would cluck his tongue and shake his head if he heard a sad story, then offer the appropriate level of condolence to a co-worker, although not so much as to appear overly interested in said co-worker’s personal life. But somewhere along the line you and your posse became something more than most people, something outside the rules.
It all started when James, the leader of your group, found some computers on the side of the road.
“Sweet, free computers,” he said out loud. He called Craig, the tough one, to get some help loading them into his car. The two of them had the computers all loaded up in like thirty minutes, but when they pulled out Craig mentioned that awesome link of a dog throwing a Frisbee to a person to James and James stopped watching the road for a minute to act out the dog’s graceful movements, ploughing into a teacher from the local high school who was trying to tell him that those computers were actually for kids.
James and Craig immediately stopped the vehicle and got out to find that the teacher was dead. At that moment they realized they had to get rid of the body or they’d both go to jail, where Youtube access is heavily restricted. They called Max, the smart one, who got Davis, the crazy one, to help him by getting a rug at a thrift store using the petty cash and the lot of you rolled the teacher up in said rug and tossed him into a quarry where Kim, the athletic one and the girl, used to climb with her dad before he got the cancer.
From this moment forward you were bound by the blood on all of your hands, and also the occasional shared tab at O’Brannigan’s on Friday night. You were set on a path towards a life of crime which began each day at 5:30 PM, after each of you had had a chance to unwind from the day’s interminable activities.
Today is going to be a landmark day in that life of crime when you decide to call yourselves “The Business Casual Mafia,” since you all wear dress slacks and polo shirts whenever you hang out. You’ll collectively decide this while beating a shop keep with a hammer so that he gives you protection money.
It will be Max’s idea, and James will oppose it at first, but Craig will react enthusiastically to the suggestion and it’ll take off like gangbusters from there. Kim will mention that she basically dresses this way all the time, but she’ll be voted down because she’s a girl and this is a business oriented mafia and unfortunately workplace discrimination based on gender is still very much a thing.
Congratulations Business Casual Mafia!
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