Today you’re going to finally break away from your hellish bitch of a dog faced sister (puns!) and strike out on your own. You’ll slowly ease out from under her until you reach an appropriate distance and then speed away, leaving her waist deep in the middle of the Mediterranean, feeling like the dumb ass foaming cunt she is.
You’ll eventually escape from the sea in a series of wacky hyjinx, becoming the first and arguably most successful sea-based maelstrom to found and operate a credit union. It’ll flourish through the economic recession, where Scylla’s banking ventures will fold. Then she’ll have to move in to your spare room and it’ll be awkward for all parties involved.
And all because you finally decided to do something with your life other than wait for Odysseus to wind his way to the end of some weird sea passage and then navigate the two of you both topographically and sexually. Which, by the way, would’ve been a huge letdown anyways.
Congratulations Charybdis!
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