You were always good at what you did, whatever it was. And after you got fired from that Jamba
Juice, stripping just made sense, so you weren't surprised when you became the
best damn stripper in your strip club.
But you were surprised at how terribly catty a lot of strippers were,
how they'd try to do insane shit to one another, like mugging someone for her
tips or lacing someone's cocaine with borax to eliminate competition on the
stage.
Today you're going to be beaten to death with a pipe wrench
by a group of white supremacists that Lacey blew in exchange for the
murder. They'll do it messily, and
they'll be caught by the end of the night, but that's cold comfort for you now,
since you're dead.
On the upside, your consciousness is going to spark back up
into itself after it leaves your body and, thanks to your exceptional work
ethic and glowing personality (which, again, made you a really bang-up
stripper) you're going to manifest as a kind of weird, ectoplasmic ghost.
Your first act will be going to the house of a boy you never
noticed in high school who's still way into you and descending into bed with
him at night. You'll make ghosty-sex all
up on him, then leave him panting and breathless and flush with happy thoughts
of you. Thus will begin your career as
the sexiest ghost in Southern California, offering solace to lonely men all
across the Southland.
Congratulations on Becoming a Sexy Ghost!
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