Thursday, July 4, 2013

Congratulations on Grinding the Coffee Just Right!



This will be your fourth day on the job as a barrista.  Ever since you started you’ve been having trouble with the god damn woodchipper that your boss calls a coffee grinder.  It has some strange mechanics that demand you pushing down on a thing while another thing grinds some stuff, and you, in your infinitely spastic manner, have been somehow catching a finger in places fingers shouldn’t be.

This means that people end up getting blood in their coffee, which makes it the best coffee they’ve ever had (trade secret!) and also results in you losing one curious finger!

Today you’re going to get it.

You’re gonna push down on the thingy that goes into the other thingy with your hand in a fist.  That means no fingers sticking out to get caught by the grinder.

Boom, problem solved!  Your liberal arts degree, of course, was no help at all in the process, but at least you’ve got it worked out.  Maybe one day you’ll be able to conduct basic tasks without seriously injuring yourself while you figure out how to accomplish them.  Dare to dream!

Congratulations on Grinding the Coffee Just Right!

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