“We were successful at exfiltrating contaminants properly
from the water,” you’ll inform the superintendent of schools. She won’t be a terribly well educated woman,
so she’ll simply nod ineffectually at you.
“Okay,” she’ll murmur, dismissing you. Your use of a big word will make her assume
you knew what you were talking about, which was exactly what you were going
for. But you really didn’t, and tomorrow
a bunch of kids are going to die because you used exfiltrate incorrectly in a
sentence, trying to make it sound like you managed to didn’t actually
accomplish the goal of filtering something when what you in fact said was that
you successfully removed things from a place.
Later, you’ll be sued, along with the superintendent of
schools and most of her direct underlings.
You’ll be the only one to get off on a technicality since, as your
improper use of words indicates, you’re not the brightest and shouldn’t be held
to the same standards as other adults.
“The superintendent of schools should probably know better than
to pretend she knows the meaning of words, especially when children’s safety is
concerned,” the judge will declare, his mustache bristling. Then he’ll bang his gavel and off the upper
echelon of the school district’s administrative staff will go to rape jail!
Congratulations on Misusing the Term Exfiltrate!
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