Congratulations on Knocking Down the Punching Bag!

After watching that bitch of an accountant up and get picked by the Cutters to be their newest killer yesterday, you decided it was time to step up your game.  You’ve been in this basement for a while, after all, and while it’s only slightly more of a waste of time than getting a liberal arts degree, it’s time to start doing something with your life again.

So today, after feeding and all the rest, during the “physical fitness” portion of the day, you’re going to hit the punching bag so hard it’s knocked from the meat-hook that suspends it right on to the floor.

The punching bag, in this case, will be your sister.

She’ll land with a thump and just weep for a while, so you’ll step on her throat and say “Shhhh.”  Then you’ll look into Cutter Pappy’s eyes from across the room and make kissy lips at him while you murder your supine sister.

He’ll clap his hands and laugh.  Then he’ll shoot you in the temple to keep the other gimps off their game.

You win some, you lose some!

Your body will be tossed into the growing body pile in the corner, which will be discovered later on this week by the police when they check the missing persons report that your parent’s work filed after they failed to show up after two weeks of “being dead in their basement.”

So even though you didn’t make the cute, you will be with your family in a very, very real sense from now on, which is pretty nice!

Congratulations on Knocking Down the Punching Bag!