“I’M JUST SO GLAD EVERYONE COULD COME TOGETHER!” you’ll
scream between shrieks of pain as villagers take turns stabbing you with garden
tools.
“DIE HEATHEN!” one of the townspeople will holler in
response.
“Uhhh,” you’ll moan before passing out briefly. The townsfolk will continue stabbing you and
putting out cigarettes on your genitals even though you’ll no longer be
responding. They’ll leave you hanging up
there in the middle of town for the rest of the night. When you don’t wake up the next day they’ll
pull you down and toss your body on to a fire, where it will burn quite
thoroughly.
All this because you wouldn’t buy brand name Cheerios. We all know Oaty-Os is a funny name, but for
fuck’s sake, who actually eats that shit?
Congratulations on Helping Everyone Find Some Middle Ground!
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