Congratulatiuons Celibate Porn Star!

 Porn is intended to titillate, and the easiest way to titillate is to show absolutely nothing happening. The Victorians knew this.  Hence the ankles.

You take a new tack on it.

You sit in a chair, naked, hair bound in a ponytail.  Your breasts, modest and shapely, form perfect orbs beneath your smiling face as you regale an imaginary audience (really just a camera set up in your bedroom) with stories of your relationship with Christ.  You’ll refer to them with chaste honorifics like honey, dear, sweetie and love.  Your smile will never waver, nor will you ever do anything remotely sexual.

Your website will become a hit overnight.

In the months to come men will tune in to watch you talk to a camera without waiting for responses.  They’ll fix their eyes upon yours and in the seconds between your words their lust will fail, turning to the bleakest, loneliest kind of love.  The hopeless kind where you know before it starts that it’s over.  The Christian kind.

Of course you’re incredibly hot in a girl-next-door kinda way, so you get a lot of viewers even though the very concept of your porn is depressing.  So hours later the men who watch your videos will still jerk off, usually easing themselves towards sleep, sucking on their upper lips and fading ever so slowly into oblivion.  As they come they’ll feel a tinge of sadness, not quite knowing why.  You’ll rest easy, paypal account overflowing, girlfriend in bed with her arm wrapped around you dreaming of the most fantastically dirty scenarios that no one else will ever see.

Congratulations Celibate Porn Star!